Wednesday, 31 October 2012

kate bardot...

I know Kate most is a tad skanky.  But she is such an incredible model.  I love her in this pic from the December issue of Vanity Fair, even wearing a string vest (as Bardot) she looks hot.

Even better topless (sorry I couldn't help myself)...

Vanity Fair December 2012 issue...
Photographs by Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott.
Kate 2008 flashback, just because...

hen night recap

I know you are dying to know what I ended up wearing to the hen night (okay, maybe you're not, but I'm going to tell you anyway!). I wore my pink Princess Ratbag pettiskirt (which always gets lots of attention) and sparkly heels of course!  I found a top at Ally that matched perfectly and it only cost $12. The pink plastic tiaras that we all had to wear matched too. Baby pink over load!

What can I say, a fun night was had by all. Customs confiscated our furry handcuffs at the airport (the vibrator scraped through). We ate chocolate willies and laughed at the other (oddly knicker less?!) hens party as they enjoyed being 'pumped' by the stallion strippers on the boat. And the club, that I went to back in 97? It was pretty crap and the floor was so sticky it was literally hard to dance (picture Kath n Kim - the wedding episode with Velcro on the soles of her shoes...)!

My overall sum up? I'm pleased I'm not in my 20s any more. I don't want to get chatted up by strangers. I'm done with falling into bed at 3 in the morning with sore feet. I think I'm actually content to be where I am in my life and am happy to just watch the younger girls enjoying their time having fun.

My final outfit choice.  It HAD to be the pettiskirt!

today I am wearing...

Work. I'm actually quite busy. So a serious work dress for today.  I normally wear this dress with a black belt and heels, but I thought I'd go for a bit of contrast.  I tried a few options.  I wanted to go pink, but I dunno, it just didn't work somehow... So cream it is.

Right back to it... I need to see a man about a dog...

Portmans dress and belt. Diavolina slingbacks

ladies who lunch Melbourne cup style

I am really annoyed and perplexed. One of my dress options for the Melbourne Cup lunch next week (remember the dusky pink satin Cooper Street number?) has a mysterious stain on it! Can't get it off... Bloody bloody bugger! How do you get a stain simply by hanging in the wardrobe?! (No it's not mould) Aghh! I've tried everything and it won't come off.  I'm still going to wear it. Sod it.

I'm actually not sure what to wear as yet (I start my outfit from the shoes up, sooo...). I need to decide so I can get a fascinator. Stupid things. But they suit me better than a hat. I don't do hats. They look ridiculous on me. I blame my pin head. So a silly feathery fascinator it has to be. Still, it'll be fun to dress up with the ladies and have a jolly afternoon.

Diva fascinator with veil $24.99
I actually do like this one...

Update: Diva has a great collection of well priced fascinators and hair clips.  Much better than the Myer and Target selection.  I ended up buying a silver and diamanté headband instead. It's really pretty and I'll be able to wear it with whatever dress I finally settle on wearing...and I'm going to wear it to my neice's wedding too, it'll go with both the dresses I plan to wear (ceremony and dinner). Sorted!

My retro blingy headband.  $10 at Diva. Bargain!

Monday, 29 October 2012

getting old is a horrible thing

My thoughts today are consumed by aging. Not the vain ‘I don’t want to look old’ thing, the ‘I don’t want to get old and incapable and lonely and become a burden on my kids’ thing... My Dad was 45 when I was born (I was the ‘mistake’). Now he’s 86 and an old frail man. I have always felt ripped off, having older parents. Growing up, I used to be embarrassed when other kids thought my dad was my Granddad. But then I realised how lucky I was. My dad would do anything for me and he had the time and desire to indulge me. I totally took him foregranted. Now he's old and I resent him.  I resent him for getting old and not being 'my real Dad' any more.  I resent him for not being the man he was... eager to please, able to do anything, fearless, solid, reliable, always there, practical. I resent that my kids will never know the gymnast that he was, and instead see a man who can barely shuffle. I really don't want to get old...

Once again, I'll admit that living so far away from my family has hardened my heart. I have my own family to think about, I don’t ‘need’ my parents any more. I gave grown up and away physically and emotionally. When I think about it and it saddens me. When I don’t think about it, I forget, I just get on with my life. This role reversal with happen to me, with my kids one day too. I’m dreading it. All the sacrifices and worry and dreams that my parents made for me and I make for my kids... all for what? What a crap daughter I have become. 

Yes, I'm rambling today. My minds is spinning, this way and that.  Basically it's because I’m feeling guilty. Actually, a mixture of relief and guilt. My sister and I had to tell our poor old Dad that that we’re cancelling his ticket to fly over here (from the UK) for my niece's wedding next month. It’s really sad. But he’s just not up to the trip. We had to make a hard decision. He can barely walk, is still recovering from cracked ribs (due to several falls), is in denial that he is semi-incontinent, and he’s alone (my mum left him 2 years ago and has since regressed to a 17 year old in search of a new 'able' love...). There is no way he can handle the 24-hour trip alone and then back again.  So we had to tell him on the phone last night and it broke his heart.  He doesn't understand.  He doesn't see what we see. So I feel like a hard bitch, because I spoke to him like I would to a child.  Patiently explaining why he can't come on the trip he's been living for, why he won't spend Christmas with his family and as a result he won't see his favourite grand daughter marry. "Why?" dad asks, "Because you're too old Dad".  And selfishly I breathe a sigh of relief because now everyone in the wedding party is able bodied and we can rush around and have fun and not have to worry about Dad slowing us down, always needing to be close to a toilet, wheeling the wheelchair, stopping us doing all the things we want to do... Meanwhile Dad will sit, alone in his flat, with nothing to look forward to...

today I am wearing...

Monday again. It'll be Christmas before we know it!

Today I am wearing one of my favourite work dresses. You’ve seen it before, but I haven’t worn it for a while. It’s my Basque peplum, belted dress with black flower applique. The grey/black print makes it a bit more interesting than a plain colour. And I must admit to liking a little subtle animal print every now and then. My dear husband blames my Essex girl genes for this, and he’s probably right. I have added my pearls and Peeptoe black patent peep toes (that are still too tight, but you have to suffer sometimes for shoes right?!).

I'm bloody desperate for a shopping trip!  I had to restrain myself all weekend.  I still haven't been to the Tony Bianco shoe sale (extra 20% off).  It's killing me.  I hate to miss out.  But I'm being a GOOD GIRL! Grrrrr!

Basque dress, M&S leather belt, Peeptoe peep toes

Friday, 26 October 2012

today I am wearing...

I look like a member of the school PTA today, or a real estate agent...! Efficient, smart and mumsy. I'm wearing my new $15 Mix from Coles dress and brown comfy sensible wedges. I could wear this same outfit aged 70! But, the dress is a comfy on, and just right for a trip to the hairdressers before popping into work for an hour or two, before the mummy wheel starts...

Happy Friday peeps!

Mix dress, silver chain, Target wedges (that look like Windsor Smith)

Wednesday, 24 October 2012


I love these sandals from the Jennifer Hawkins (Siren) range. I tried them on at the George Street, Sydney Myer at the weekend, and had to resist temptation! I found it incredibly difficult taking them off (cause I wanted them!) and was very tempted to hide my flip flops in my bag and walk out in them! Damn those security tags!

JLH Libra Pink $220

JLH Cancer Neutral $250
Me. Trying them on...

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

today I am wearing...

I’ve been trapped in some weird time warp today which has made me late, late, late for everything!  I’ve been going along at normal speed, doing my normal morning things (feeding the cats, juicing fruit, eating breakfast, making sandwishes, drying my hair, deciding what shoes to wear, taking the kids to school), but time has just gone too fast! I just don't understand? Maybe it's the gale force winds that we're having at the moment, blowing time along in gusts, resulting in a strange push and pull... a windy whirlwind! I can feel the pressure in the air too, building...

I chucked on this old Wayne Cooper dress today, that I bought ages ago and haven't worn for a while. My pearls and faithful black patent Diana Ferarri Signature stilettos complete my outfit.

Wayne Cooper silk cotton ruffle dress, Diana Ferarri Signature heels


I may offend some of my more politically correct readers with this post, but I’m not going to apologise. I’m entitled to my opinion right?

When I stopped off to pick up a (much needed) coffee this morning, on my way into work, I was in the queue behind a ginormously obese young (ish) woman. Her backside was so huge, it really did look like a freakishly large prize-winning cauliflower in a black bag! I just stood there unable to peel my eyes away, thinking to myself, ‘how the hell do you get that big?’ then, ‘how the fuck can she wipe her arse?’ her little chubby arms couldn’t possibly reach that far... Then, I couldn’t help but listen to her order, intrigued to see if she would go for a low fat option. Two muffins and an iced coffee, ahh no surprise there then. I just won’t get it. Being a bit over weight is one thing, as you know I‘m not one to starve myself and work out in order to have the ‘perfect’ body. It’s nice to have ‘soft womanly curves’. I eat my fair share of my favourite salt and vinegar crisps and gorge myself on yummy cheese and butter and bread, I have cellulite and flabby thighs that I prefer to hide... BUT! How can you let yourself get that big? And please don’t make excuses in defense of these fatties. I just can’t accept that all of a sudden every other person has an ‘addiction’ to food, and they just can’t stop themselves (bollocks!) or has had to turn to food to comfort themselves because of stress or past troubles (pfft!), or can’t afford healthy food (oh please!).

When I was at school there was one fat kid, just one. Her life was hell. And compared to the size of people nowadays, she was slim! So, why, why, in the last decade or so, has it become acceptable to be really, really fat? I no it sounds harsh, but it shouldn’t be okay. It’s horrible. I find it offensive.


Monday, 22 October 2012


I wish this blog was anonymous sometimes... I would be able to write sooooo much more. But I can't as is. So I'm feeling frustrated this morning, gagged.  For example, there I things I'd like to ask and get opinions on, a different point of view.  There are stories I'd like to share, but can't because people may get hurt or offended.  Ugh.  I hate not being able to get things off my chest. 

Thursday, 18 October 2012

today I am wearing...

It's the last week of the Myer Mid Season Sale. I happened to be passing by yesterday and as you know, I find it really hard to resist a sale, so I popped in... Most of the sale items have an additional 30% off, but there are some bargains to be had on the 'take a further 75% off' rail.  I got this Basque dress for $20, down from $129!  Perfect for work and it's made from that nice stetchy fabric.  Goes well with my plum Steven Madden stilettos too. Happy days. 

Basque dress, Steve Madden patent plum stilettos

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

today I am wearing...

It feels so summery today.  It's lovely and warm and there is a touch of humidity in the air. So I had the prefect excuse to wear the Jay Jays dress that I snapped up last week.  I chose the sunny yellow belt, for the sunny day.  I'll wear the pink one next time.

Have a lovely Wednesday peeps!

Jay Jays summer dress with yellow belt and Target wedges

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

the smell that follows Brad around...

If you fancy a laugh have a gander at this (if you haven't seen it and heard it already)!  What a load of toss!!!  Pfft!  Sorry Brad, I'm still chuckling away... 

Brad sniffs a smell and can't quite work out what it means...

ahs asylum

I loved the first season of American Horror Story. I admit, it took a few episodes before I decided that I did in fact like it, after my initial 'WTF?'. But I got really hooked. Creepy, sexy, gory, but oh so stylish. I still dream of the rubber suit... Not personally wearing one, but I wouldn't say no to someone else coming at me in one!

The second series, Asylum, starts this week in the US. The story is a totally new one and doesn't follow on in any way to the original. Even returning actors play new roles. I can't wait! Here's a clip... Looks fab!

choose my outfit...?

It's my niece's hen night on Saturday. I'm actually getting quite excited.  I went to a rather sleazy sex shop today (with quite a few men inside, very quietly browsing...) to buy some 'toys'... It'll be fun. We're all off to Sydney, to a penthouse near the harbour. After champagne and cocktails we're booked on to the Stallions Afloat stripper cruise and then on to a club later (the last time I went to this particular club was NYE '97!!!). The theme is pink... So, what does auntie-to-the-bride wear?

I need your help dear readers, to choose my outfit! I've been through my wardrobe and selected four (unfinished) pink outfits. I want to kind of blend in, so the young gals get all the limelight, but don't want to look like a boring old hag... (I want to wear my pettiskirt, because I love it and it feels so gorgeous and soft and flouncy on, but...).

So what to wear...?

Outfit One: 

Dusky pink satin Cooper Street dress, Nine West pink sparkly heels
Outfit Two:

Pink & black Forever New strapless dress, Zu silver heeled peeptoes
Outfit Three:
Candy pink Portmans bow dress with matching peeptoe heels

Princess Ratbag pettiskirt, Nine West pink sparkly peeptoe heels

Monday, 15 October 2012

today I am wearing...

I felt like getting down to business today, so dressed for the office.  Sometimes I miss the corporate world. I did enjoy my time working in the big city in a flashy office in a cool part of town.  I felt confident and could hold my head up high and feel part of the steady pulse of a city that never sleeps. I loved the people I worked with too.  The cheeky banter, my lovely office husband, the slick ambitious girls and the clever, playful suited boys.  Long alcohol fuelled lunches in new restaurants, meetings in trendy cafes, over strong coffee, watching the world go by and gossipping, late nights in loud, smokey bars and rushing blind to catch the last tube home...

So for today, I slipped on my black crepe Cue dress and Steve Madden black patent stilettos, and my pearls (of course).

Cue dress, Steve Madden black patent stilettos.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

a satisfying saturday...

We went to the island today. We christened the boat. Nothing like warm sunshine, fresh sea air and the risk of getting caught, to recharge your batteries! The kids had gone off to sand board in the Desert for an hour or so, leaving us alone on a deserted beach, just a few other boats anchored in the distance, not a cloud in the deep blue sky, just the soft breath of a breeze... What can I say, an hour of tranquil, spontaneous fun and relaxation. Heaven...

Friday, 12 October 2012


Have you seen Smash, the TV show?  God I love it!  I haven't enjoyed a series this much since (the totally brilliant and absolute opposite) Breaking Bad. I have to watch the re-runs on Seven catch up as it's on too late.  I sit in front of the computer with a cup of coffee and indulge for 45 minutes.

For those of you who don't know, the story revolves around the lives of the cast, producer and writers of a new Broadway musical, Bombshell, about the life of Marilyn Monroe .  There's singing, dancing, love affairs, bitchy backstabbing and sweet friendships.  And given I am not a big fan of Marilyn and I still love it, it proves how good it is.  

And in case you are wondering, It's so much better than Glee (which doesn't really hold much a appeal to me). Makes me wish I'd chosen a life in the theatre instead of sitting behind a desk, even if you only get paid peanuts! Ahhh...

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

today I am wearing (and designer babies..)

Did anyone watch Insight on SBS last night?  It was a really thought provoking episode called Designing Babies. Asking the question, "Is there anything wrong with choosing your baby's health, sex, personality, even intelligence?"

All about embryo genetic testing.  It's such a grey issue, so it was an interesting debate. In the future, only poor people will have sex to create a baby. Apparently IVF will be a far superior and more effective form of conception.

I am totally for testing for disease and defects, before or during pregnancy. I know I personally could not have knowingly brought up a disabled child. I am pro-choice.  All parents to be should be able to make an informed choice. Everyone wants a healthy child right?

On the flip side, I am not in favour of sex selection. I just think it mucks up the natural order. Call me old fashioned, but a child is a child, not an accessory that you can pick, and diversity is important. 

Then it went on to discuss the future.  That's when it got really scary and my opinions became muddled...  

A case of science fiction becoming reality...? I was reminded of (one of my favourite films, starring Jude Law, Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke) Gattica.  A story set in the not-too-distant future, where genetic engineering of humans is common and DNA plays the primary role in determining social class.  A world where a society discriminates against your genes, instead of your gender, race or religion. A rich high society of genetically engineered people and an underclass 'naturally bred' poor. If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do.  It's a slick, stylish film.

Should we play 'God'?  Should we eradicate the criminal gene, for example?  Should we be able to select an 'intellient' child?  It's a toughie.  I found myself saying yes and no.

Ethan Hawke looking rather dishy in the brilliant Gattica

You can find out more about the programme here.

Anyway back to the real reason for today's post...!  I haven't worn this stripey dress for a while, so I thought I'd give it an airing, along with my patent plum Zoe Whitner stilettos. Where did I buy the dress?  I can't remember.  I cut the itchy label off. 

Add caption

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

jay jays

Not a shop I normally frequent, but a sale rail of cute summer dresses at Jay Jays caught my eye today. So in I went to try a few styles on. I ended up with this spotty strapless jersey dress with pink or yellow belt, for only $15!!! Love it cause I can wear it with or without a bra and dress it up (with heels) or down (with thongs) and it's not too short (meaning acceptable for someone of my old age), and as you know, I love a dress with a little belt.  It's my absolute must accessory.

Pink or Yellow?

So pop in next time you're passing and snag yourself a cheap sun dress or two! How can you go wrong for $15?!! There were lots of pretty styles to choose from, here are my favs:

All from Jay Jays for $15.

Check out

Monday, 8 October 2012

today I am wearing...

I nipped out at lunch. I needed to buy birthday cards and stamps. I also thought I'd try on a few pairs if shorts, but once again decided I looked better in the dress and heels I was already wearing. Alas I just don't have the slim thighs required for shorts. I'd love to look like Selma in this hot little outfit.  So simple, smart and sexy. Instead I look a snap of myself (?!) in the changing rooms. See, better in a dress...

Selma Blair at the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic
Target Limited Edition dress, Portmans belt, 
Diavolina slingbacks and my beloved pearls


I slept so badly last night. It’s not often that I toss and turn unable to switch off. My throat felt dry and my nose felt itchy, and my mind was a strange mix of whirling, mubbled thoughts. I was too hot and just couldn’t get comfortable. So I’m not feeling great today. My mind is not sharp, even after an extra large, strong flat white. 

During the night my mind drifted between the book I’m reading, a story set in the 18th century about incest, obsession and control. My 86 year old dad, currently in hospital, after a series of falls, resulting in cracked ribs and incontinence, which means he’ll be unable to attend my brothers wedding in Germany this week, and the decision we (as a family) have to make about whether he is fit enough to travel to Australia and then New Zealand to attend his granddaughter’s (my niece's) wedding in November. It’ll break his heart not to come here, he’s been counting down the days all year. Thoughts about aging parents and the switching emotions between love, and guilt and burden, logistics and memories, of telling Dad he has to go into a nursing home. Willing myself to go to sleep because of the early alarm call for the start of the new school term. The decision about what to put in the kids sandwiches. My disappointment about not getting out on the boat (to our island paradise) this weekend due to the flipping annoying wind that won’t seem to go away. Hearing the wind rattle and shake the house, smelling the dust in the air, because we haven’t had decent rain for so long, and the putrid, shitting fertilizer smell from the garden...

With the classic Boomtown Rats hit, ‘I don’t like Mondays’ playing in my head... I wish you all a Happy Monday readers!

Friday, 5 October 2012

boobs of the month award...

Sorry dear readers.  I know you have been quietly disappointed.  I have indeed been slack in posting my boobs of the week award!  

So, to set you up for the weekend, here is a lovely shot of supermodel (from the 90s) Stephanie Seymour, as featured in I-D Magazine's Autumn 2012 issue.  What a stunner with a lovely set of jugs (not sure about the strange neck n thigh brace, but who's looking at that?)!

Image: I-D Magazine's 'Role Models' issue, Fall 2012

gaga and donatella

Gaga has morphed into Donatella Versace.  Oh to have such rich and famous designer friends! I think the look suits her actually.  

All images and more from

today I am wearing...

Cream and floral today.  I can't believe I almost didn't buy this dress.  I put it back on the rack several times.  I'm glad I came to my senses and bought it because it has become one of my versatile favourites.  

I had to go to a client meeting to go to today, then a promised shopping trip with my daughter (birthday money burning a hole in her pocket), so I needed an outfit I could dress up and down.  

Oroton bag, Diavolina slingbacks, Review dress, Portmans belt, for work, then quickly changed to a tan belt and Target wedges for the shops. Sorted!

Work option
Shopping option

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

today I am wearing...

I didn't have a particularly satisfying weekend.  We just seemed to laze about and not do very much, which was nice, but then when we wanted to go out, it started raining (which we needed, as it hasn't rained for months).  So I went shopping.  I tried on heaps of dresses and shorts (they look awful on me!) and ended up with just this one.  $25 from Hot Options (Taarjay). I really like the gold metal belt detail.  It's actually a size too big (they didn't have my size), but I though I could get away with it.

There are just so many different styles around at the moment.  It really is a case of anything goes.  Tribal prints, polka dots, stripes, pastels, colour blocking, florals, 80s style, classic shapes, vintage inspired... you name it, if it suits you - wear it!

Hot Options dress with Tony Bianco nude heels