touch a touch a touch me knickers

Dear readers. I'm sorry it's been a while. What can I say, there's a lot going in in the suburban stiletto world.  Some good (a blissful holiday in paradise) and some not so good (some painful goodbyes are coming up), but more on all that later. For now something fun...   

 

Durex Fundawear pants (I prefer panties or knickers as you know, I'm not a fan of the word pants) take phone sex to another level. Vibrating underwear that your partner controls remotely via a phone app - cool!  I'd give em a go, just for the novelty factor of course.   

 

Apparently only ten pairs have been made so far.  Umm hope they wash well...

 

the intriging O

It's so much more complicated being a woman.  In every way.  I'd love to be a man for a day to just feel the difference (in more ways than one!).  But the biggest difference has to be when it comes to sex. Not how much we/they want it.. we're the thinkers, they're the lookers... no, I'm talking about the big O. The orgasm... Clitoral, vaginal, if the G Spot is involved... So what's the difference?  Can you describe them? Are there three types of orgasm, or more (if we add vaginal ejaculation to the mix)? Or is there just one kind which differs only by heightened intensity?  It's a fascinating topic and one that never ceases to intrigue me...  

notches on your bedpost

How many sexual partners have you had? Can you even remember? I'm ashamed to admit that I can't. Not exactly. I know it's within a certain number range. Two digits. Not three, that would be slutty! And no, I'm not telling you! But I'm happy with the number. Even if the names and faces of more than a few, are a blurr. 

It's important, I think, to have had a bit of history before settling down. Suss out what you like, what you don't. And do things with people just because you know you'll never see them again, so what the hell...

I know when I was younger, we all kept a tally, my friends and I. I remember being quite excited when I went over ten. Silly really. I even had a secret code in my diary for how many times I'd had sex a week. I think in those days it was definitely a case of quantity over quality. I had to mature a bit to work that out, or maybe it was the blokes I was with, they improved with age (to a point)...

According to sugar daddy dating website SeekingArrangement.com, ten is the perfect number of sexual partners, for both men and women. They asked 1,000 members to list how many lovers they wanted a new partner to have, and ten was the prefect number. The theory being less than ten meant too inexperienced, more than ten could mean you are a bit promiscuous. Interestingly it hinted that men are less tolerant of promiscuity than woman. I guess that's because we're brought up with the, men 'sowing their wild oats' nonsense, and women are just there to service their man. Is it really different nowadays? Interesting...

every girl should have one...

My darling friends and family always have my best interests at heart.  For my birthday I got the perfect presents. Heels, jewellery, gift cards (I like to choose treats/clothes for myself), books (hard to find treasured favourites), a trip away, long lovely lunches out and, what every girl should have (I can't say 'woman' I'm not that old yet!)... a glass pleasure maker (that's a vibrator to you)!

I've always wanted a glass one, and I have to tell you, the 'hand blown glass massager' is pretty fabulous and didn't disappoint. Certainly far more satisfying and aesthetically pleasing than the big black stallion one that I use to own.  Now, I could do a full blown review for you, but I don't want you all gagging into lunch.  So I'll just say this... you can warm it up, or pop in the fridge/freezer to cool it down (definitely my preference!), the rose bud itself is a nice feature and can be used in a variety of different ways, and a quick rinse under the hot tap and it's as sparkling clean and as good as new!

Check out Wild Secrets, you on, treat yourself. Your partner will love it too!

what you can’t see is what you want to see...

What do you think of these ads by Argentinian lingerie company Plain Jane?

They certainly grab your attention! Imagine seeing these on a billboard on your way in to work in the morning!

Would they make you buy Plain Jane undies? Personally, I'm not sure, but it's one hell of a way to lift your brand profile!

And the ad world loves them, winning The Lapis de Oro (Argentina’s premiere advertising award,) and The Grade Prix Bonce de Clarin.

 

Source: hurricane vanessa.

cherry popping music...?

Can you believe I lost my virginity to the sounds of Meat Loaf? Yep it's true, memories of that significant event will always come flooding back to me when Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell album is played. Specifically the track, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad. Ahhh so romantic - pftt!

Actually 'the event' wasn't significant at all, unless you count someone turning red like a pig above you... In fact I was so unimpressed by it all that I went on a bit of a mission to discover what all the fuss was about - because that was certainly not it! But on the plus side, I was glad to get it over and done with, and so pleased it wasn't with someone whom I was going to have a relationship with. I don't buy all this saving yourself crap. Why can't girls be like boys and just have fun with it all? I certainly did, it was great fun, and I have no regrets.

So what song did you pop your cherry to, or was it just the sounds of nature...?

love your lips ladies!

Sometimes I think the world has gone mad. We are so educated and advanced in so many ways, but, for some when it comes to personal self image and the quest for perfection, I think we've gone backwards. Stop being so self obsessed people! There are better things to worry about than wrinkles, a bit of cellulite, droopy boobs or a flappy fanny!

I believe it is all about confidence. And having a full, satisfying life. Looking outwards and not inwards. Vanity and insecurities are far more unattractive than a few physical 'flaws'.

In this instance, I'm taking about vaginal plastic surgery. The quest for the perfect fanny. God, really? Who gives a shit? So what if you have an 'inny' or an 'outy' - do men worry about the length of their foreskin (those who haven't been circumcised that is)? Lordy, lordy. Are some girls and women really that insecure that they have to cut their flaps off? It's really sad. Apparently in Western countries this type of cosmetic surgery is on the up.  In the UK it's gone up for 300 percent in 5 years!

(Actually while we are on the subject - it annoys me when occasionally women say they prefer a circumcised penis - I always ask "Why?" and I mean it, why? If a bloke is clean (with or without) what difference does it make? I actually prefer a dick with a foreskin! And yes, I have had both. All willies are different, as are fannies, gammon flaps, bearded clams, chewed kebabs - whatever you want to call 'em!!!)

If you have a spare half an hour I really recommend you watch this doco, by English presenter Lisa Rogers. It's really good and raises some interesting questions about the vain world we live in and questions how sexually liberated are we really?

Watch The Perfect Vagina here

friday fun with 50 (actually 25)...

Okay.  How about we play a little game? Inspired by Christian's Submissive Contract to Ana.  Let's call it the 25 Shades of Grey 'Kinky Fuckery' List.

All you have to do is read through the list and place an anonymous comment below with:

a) the number of things you can tick off the list (that you have done or done to a partner).
b) the number of things you'd like to try.
c) the item number of your favourite pervie act.
d) the item number of the thing you would definitely not try.
e) Are you the Dom or the Sub?

For example:  a) 10. b) 4. c) 23. d)  4. e) dom








The List

1. Masturbation in front of a partner.
2. Vaginal fisting.
3. Anal intercourse.
4. Anal fisting
5. Used a vibrator in front of a partner.
6. Used a vibrator on your partner.
7. Butt plugs.
8. Love eggs.
9. Bondage with handcuffs.
10. Bondage with rope/ties/belts.
11. Been gagged.
12. Been blind folded.
13. Spanking (with hands).
14. Whipping (with riding crop).
15. Caning.
16. Ice play.
17. Wax play.
18. Nipple clamps.
19. Paddling.
20. Flogging.
21. Penetration with fruit.
22. Anal fingering.
23. Used a spreader?
24. Swallow semen.
25. Rubber/Shoe/Other fetish...
  
I haven't included shagging outdoors or in front of people, cause we've kind of all been there and done that.

Have fun peeps!

what's normal when it comes to xxx?

I watched in interesting debate last night on SBS. Called Generation XXX, the question being discussed was Is watching pornography harmless for children or a cause for concern?. It raised the issue of porn 'educating' children and giving them a very unrealistic view of what is 'normal'. It definitely got me thinking...

First off let me say this. There is a time and a place for porn. I am not anti porn at all, but as with all things 'everything in moderation'...

The show focused on a group of teenagers, experts and parents all discussing their point of view. From the Catholic Chaplain who has to control his obsession and stop himself thinking all girls are whores, the cocky boy oozing hormones who considers himself 'very creative', the sullen girl who has had lots of bad experiences, to the ACDC teenager who swings both ways and uses porn as an instruction video... oh dear.

So, has the natural innocent, curious journey of sexual discovery become tainted by hard core extremes? Apparently so.  'Normal' nowadays, for young teenagers is anal, facial cum shots, zero tolerance to hair and a thorough knowledge of SCAT (sexual practises involving feces, for those of you wondering). Blimey. I'm not a prude, but it is a little worrying.  Let's face it, it is ridiculously easy to watch whatever you fancy nowadays.  Video tapes no longer get passed around in secret, now you can just download an app for your phone and watch it on the go...  And it seems kids from a very young age are doing just that. Even with vigilant parents it all gets passed around, so viewing it is unavoidable.

I don't have a problem with experimentation, but it does make me a little uncomfortable, to think of my kids feeling that they have to do all these things, just to keep up with their peers. It has certainly reinforced my view of talking to kids early, both from a factual point of view, and so they understand the good, the bad and the ugly, and most importantly their feelings, respect (for them self and others) and their emotions. Ultimately giving them the confidence to do what they want, safety, whenever they are ready. 

The conscenus at the end of the programme, quite sensibly, was that there needs to be more communication about 'real' sex, from primary school up, so that kids can tell reality from fantasty and can handle the transition from total innocence, to playgroup gossip to engaging in their first experiences in a positive way.

it takes all sorts...

Celebrity photographer Terry Richardson has taken some photos titled Leather Collages. They are fascinating pics. Take a look (not when the kids are around). 

The image that interests me the most is the masked bloke with the funnel in his mouth... (top tight) blimey! I have seen 'films' featuring this kind of thing before (mainly in Amsterdam, in porno booths) but it always makes me wonder why people 'get off' on this? How do you progress from a bit of pervey play to full on S&M? How can it really be sexual? The not being able to move or breathe? Doesn't appeal to me... I'd have to be the Dom.

Anyway, I think I'll finish my coffee and get back to work...

Want to see more? View Terry's blog here.


Terry's Leather Collage

book review 50 Shades of Grey

Is there anything better, on a grey, miserable, rainy afternoon, than settling down with a good book and a cup of coffee (well apart from a bit of umm...)? Well, that's what I did today and what can I say...

NOOOO! I finished 50 Shades of Grey and I need more, I can't just stop now! I devoured this book and have to admit I loved it, I got totally hooked. I need book two (Fifty Shades Darker)!!!

Yes, it's cliched and predictable and at times eye-rollingly corny (yes, I can do it too Christian!), making me laugh with lines like, "I gasp, and I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he's the serpent, and I cannot resist". But it's the perfect, fun, easy, un-challenging read. It's not out to make a point, or make you question anything, it just takes you along on an enjoyable ride.

But, it's hardly the 'mummy porn' I was expecting. Yes, there is sex, but it's not graphic porn, just two passionate lovers embarking on the start of an affair. There is far more actual 'story' than your normal run-of-the-mill erotic novel.

There is nothing particularly original about this book either, I have read numerous versions of this story (gorgeous, obscenely rich, but wounded, troubled man/Arab Sheik, meets young, innocent 'why me' girl next door, who tries to uncover his secrets and find happy ever after), but I really liked the main character, Ana (although her constant 'inner godess' references got on my tits a bit). She's normal and not a weak, silly sap. Christian is a tad annoying and he did give me the creeps with the stalker thing, but who cares - as I said this book it just to be enjoyed, not analysed.

So should you read it? Absolutely! I can't wait to get started on book two, I'll be going out to buy it tomorrow! Tip - this book is better read in book format - not on an iPad/e-reader.

Finished! 

pricasso...

This is funny... mamamia.com.au posted a story this week about a Queensland artist called Pricasso, I'm sure a lot of you have heard of him already, but I have a funny story about about the man himself - long before his 'fame' and sexpo days...

My sister loves jewellery, gold and diamonds in particular.  She met a young local jewellery designer who went on to make a few original pieces for her. They struck up a friendship and my sister was invited to the designer's studio, up in the Gold Coast hinterland. My sister took her teenage daughter along and while there, they were introduced to the designer's dad, also an artist.   They admired artworks and antiques and had a very nice time. 

As they were leaving the dad asked if they would be interested in seeing his work.  My sister politely accepted and followed him up to his tower studio/bedroom, which was obviously full of paintings and artists materials.  My sister and niece were then asked if they'd like to watch a video of the artist at work, and again, thinking nothing of it, said yes.  So there they are sitting on a bed in a artist studio, watching... watching a naked man, painting a naked couple on the beach - with his knob!!! My sister and niece almost died with shock and embarrassment! Me? I wet myself laughing when she told me! God, I wish I'd been there too, I think it's brilliant!

To view Pricasso's work, videos and website, click here

Pricasso with his Hugh Hufner portrait

hands up if you've found your G spot...

Image Christian Coigny photography

Come on, seriously... I'm interested. Who can honestly put their hand up and admit they know where their G spot is?

Is it a mythical thing created to keep us girls guessing? Or is it there to be discovered and enjoyed? This week, Dr Adam Ostrzenski of the Institute of Gynaecology in St Petersburg, Florida, believes he is the first medical expert to uncover its whereabouts, after conducting a post-mortem dissection of the vagina belonging to an 83-year-old woman. Nice. 


Apparently it's towards the back of the vaginal wall - but it may be in a different spot for everyone.  Great, very helpful then!  Other experts have said there is some evidence to suggest it is in the 'front vaginal wall near the bladder that causes swelling and enhanced sexual arousal'.... umm so we're still guessing...

The female orgasm is indeed a fascinating thing, one that has been hotly debated for years, and certainly has me intrigued too...

Freud said 'the vaginal walls were strongly implicated'. Others say all the nerve endings are in the clitoris and 'the organ of female pleasure is plain for all to see'. Other (female) experts say, 'The fact that women commonly report orgasms with clitoral stimulation and not so commonly with penetration bolsters the case that the clitoris is in fact the G-spot'. Then there is a team who think a women's sexual arousal is 'an entirely mental matter'... Sounds like the experts are still baffled.


Honestly, I don't know if I've found mine.  I don't think I have, I certainly don't know an exact 'button to push'...  There are so many factors to consider when reaching optimum arousal and orgasm.  I could go on for hours about the whys and the wherefores... but I won't bore you.  


So what do my dear readers think - have you found yours? 
Anonymous comments required please!

american psycho

It's an oldie, yes, but I love this film. It's one of the few movies that I actually prefer to the book (which I found too hard going), American Psycho, starring Christian Bale.


The controversial Bret Easton Ellis 1991 novel tells the story of serial killer and Wall Street yuppie Patrick Bateman, who revels in sick, sexual violence and torture. But he is slick and controlled and no doubt part inspiration for the writers of (the brilliant) TV series Dexter.

My favourite scene in the movie is the one involving business cards.  So cool! Anyway - if you haven't seen this movie from back in 2000, you must - it's a stylish classic.



Hot, hot, hot!

The movie poster

Christan and Chloe in the nail gun scene.

The original book cover

book review... With My Body



Download at iTunes,
or buy a hard copy, if you can find a book shop...

I've just finished reading Nikki Gemmell's 
With My Body. I had high expectations, as the much anticipated follow up to A Bride Striped Bare.  Umm. It's not quite. (BTW I found Nikki's The Book of Rapture really dull).


What can I say?  It's an enjoyable read, a sweet first love story, but not as intriguing or intense, or as original as A Bride Striped Bare. Rather than take me on a journey into someone else's life, I actually found it was very similar to parts of my own, so it almost felt too familiar and made me reflect on my experiences.  And at times, I admit I did skim read, as it gets a tad repetitive in the middle.  


Although beautifully written, the short lessons (chapters) make reading the story dis-jointed, rather than wanting to curl up and devour the book in one sitting, instead I found it just bumped along.

The book is essentially about a bored housewife based in the Cotswold's (in England), who reminisces about her upbringing in the bush (in Australia) and her teenage sexual awakening with an older, mysterious lover who teaches her the art of erotic pleasures, sex and submission, blah, blah, blah...  It's about who she was once, and who she turns into and her drive to get closure on some unfinished business so she can live an honest, true, fulfilled life again...

I'm guessing this was a tad autobiographical. I'd give it 3 out of 5 I think. As I said earlier, I prefer stories that allow me to see through someone else's eyes, I like to feel and think from a different point of view.  And although the characters in this book are very different to me, the older man teacher/lover thing - well, haven't we all been there? I just think it's been done before.

From inexperienced school boys to the world of older men who can't believe their luck and who totally make the most of 'teaching' young, peachy, passionate, eager play things all the tricks of the trade? As a teenager, I was well aware of the power I had over older men. It was surprisingly easy to wrap grown men (who should have know better) round my little finger... Rather than become wounded and hurt, I was empowered by it and yes it was lots of fun. I'd do it all over again. 

As for the bored, ageing, mid-life crisis housewife thing.  I get it.  It's life. The answer - honesty, compromise, communication and managing your expectations. 


So... yes, In My Skin is worth a read, just don't expect to be blown away.

ahhh, the blue lagoon...

I can't believe they are going to re-make this classic coming of age movie!  Apparently the film will be very different from the original (I'm sure it'll be crap, re-makes usually are), starring ex Home & Away actors Indiana Evans and Brenton Thwaites, set in Hawaii.


I admit I fell in love with this movie, I must have been about 12 when I first saw it... I use to daydream about being Brooke Shields and use to pretend to be kissing Christopher Atkins (using the back of my hand) on that idyllic sandy beach... ahhh he was so smooth and blond and sweet. All that innocence, then naive sexual exploration. It offered such a tantalising glimpse of what lay ahead, and it looked so good that I couldn't wait to be old enough. Do films and TV influence us - of course they bloody do!

I wanted to be the Brooke sooo bad...

Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins in The Blue Lagoon

the great wall of...

Now come on admit it.  You'd all be curious to see this.  It's only natural to want a gawp.  It's fascinating.  Which 'type' are you...?

An art piece, from the UK artist, Jamie McCartney, called...

The Great Wall of Vagina's.

It's about changing female body perception through art - and I'm all for it! It's not pervie, or gross, or porn - this is art.  It's empowering and educational and shatters the myth of what's 'normal'. I think every teenager should have to see this, for a healthy dose of reality.

The exhibition is opening in London in May (2012) and I sooo wish I could go along.  I hope it comes to Oz!

400 women got involved, from all ages and backgrounds and the result is 10 panels containing 40 casts.

I think it is brilliant.

Boobs of the week...

This weeks award goes to Madonna. 

Yes I know, I know, nothing new about catching an eyeful of Madge's set, we've all seen them, but hey, they look good and I loved her SEX book!  It's pop culture history. 

So this post is a blast from the past (the book was published in 1992) but I think the pictures are still pretty cool.  

All images by Steven Meisel