every girl should have one...

My darling friends and family always have my best interests at heart.  For my birthday I got the perfect presents. Heels, jewellery, gift cards (I like to choose treats/clothes for myself), books (hard to find treasured favourites), a trip away, long lovely lunches out and, what every girl should have (I can't say 'woman' I'm not that old yet!)... a glass pleasure maker (that's a vibrator to you)!

I've always wanted a glass one, and I have to tell you, the 'hand blown glass massager' is pretty fabulous and didn't disappoint. Certainly far more satisfying and aesthetically pleasing than the big black stallion one that I use to own.  Now, I could do a full blown review for you, but I don't want you all gagging into lunch.  So I'll just say this... you can warm it up, or pop in the fridge/freezer to cool it down (definitely my preference!), the rose bud itself is a nice feature and can be used in a variety of different ways, and a quick rinse under the hot tap and it's as sparkling clean and as good as new!

Check out Wild Secrets, you on, treat yourself. Your partner will love it too!

break-ups

I’m reading a book at the moment about a marriage breakdown (review to follow soon). It’s obviously triggered my subconscious, because I’ve been having strange dreams. From time to time I have dreams about the bloke I used to live with. They are uncomfortable dreams and I always wake up feeling anxious and horrible.

We were together for four years and had a very messy break-up. I won’t go into the gory details, but in short, he was a lot older, I’d had enough and left (for someone my own age). He had a breakdown and became a stalker, even following me to Hong Kong.. In hindsight I should have got a restraining order, but I just dealt with it and tried to block it all out. But I regret never having had the chance to tell him to just f**k off, I never got real ‘closure’. At the time I didn't want to provoke him.  So instead, he haunts me in my dreams, it’s like I’ve been transported back in time. I’ve moved on, but he hasn’t and thinks we are still together. And I have to go through it all again. Trying to escape without him noticing. Going along with the pretense that we are together, while trying to convince everyone else to help me leave. It makes my skin crawl. I wish the dreams would stop. It take me a good couple of hours to shake the feeling of ‘him’.

It’s weird isn’t it, how you can really enjoy being with someone, share part of your life with them, know intimate details and preferences, then suddenly it all changes and revulsion sets in, a total distain and lack of respect. Ugh. Thank God I got out when I did. But do you know what – even though almost 15 years have passed, it still pisses me off that he couldn’t just accept the break-up with dignity and allow me to keep the happy memories of our time together. 

Right! I need to change the subject! It’s a beautiful day out there today. I’ll focus on that. Oh and the new pair of sparkly silver Diavolina slingbacks that I’ve got me eye on...

each to their own...

So Johnny and Vanessa have split.  It's a shame.  I had hoped that they would last. They seemed genuine. They appeared to have escaped the fake Hollywood bullshit. It's sad.  But, if you've been happy with someone for years, is it a failure because it ends?  Maybe it just ran it's course. People change...

People never cease to amaze me. We're all an interesting bunch. Our loves, passions, dislikes, quirks and indifferences. As I've said before, it would be such a boring world if we were all the same. I find couple relationships particularly interesting, as they are all so vastly different. The respect and friendship, the outward displays of affection or dislike. The need to be with other people, or preference to be just together. The denying ones self or joint compromise, the balance of power...

Me? I need my relationship with my husband to be the priority. I'm not needy or insecure, I just require daily interaction, companionship and attention to be happy. I need my partner to be my best friend, the person I can tell anything too, who is just there. He is my first choice to be with, the person I would prefer to spend time with. It's not claustrophobic, or high maintenance, or touchy feely, it's just right, for us. We communicate, there is balance. I want our relationship to work, I'm looking forward to when it's just us again.

I personally don't understand how relationships work when the focus on just on kids, or work, or friends. People who always have to be around others, all the time, or seem to prefer the company of their friends. Or those who try to please everyone and never end up doing that, because ultimately they please no one.

No relationship is perfect, but some are clearly happier than others, but as long as it works, who cares? Each to their own. My recommendation? Honesty, communication, respect, time together and the simple act of appreciation.

What are your thoughts?  What works for you?

All over for Mr & Mrs Depp...