Friday, 13 April 2012

could you adopt a child?

New mum Charlize is on the cover of the May issue of British Vogue. She looks stunning in this gorgeous ice blue Versace dress and pointy Jimmy Choo nude stilettos. Very Grace Kelly. One very classy lady.

In the article, Charlize talks briefly about new adopted baby son Jackson, "Jackson is incredible, the greatest gift. He is the coolest kid ever." Adding, "I’ve always been very honest in saying I wanted a family. I’ve always known I wanted a family. I don’t think my mom could wait any more!"

Whenever I hear about celebrities adopting babies I am filled with mixed emotions. It's such a wonderful thing to do, taking an unwanted child and providing it with a loving, nurturing home, with the best money can buy. But I also think about friends of mine who adopted a baby and how I felt when their dream came true... I read their email and felt so happy for them, but also surprised that I felt slightly repulsed by the idea - just being handed a baby and expected to instantly love it.  It made me ask myself if I could adopt a child?  And I just don't think I could.  I don't know if I could just switch on love for an adopted child, and could I ever love it as much as my own?  When you go through pregnancy and birth you have already bonded with your baby, you can't wait to meet him or her, you are consumed by feelings of wanting to protect and love your child no matter what, and give them the best you can.  But a stranger, one that isn't part of you? I'm not so sure. I guess maybe over time...or by the time you've been through the gruelling adoption process.

Katherine Heigl has recently spoken of her initial heartbreak after adopting Naleigh, "People are always talking about the strong bond between mother and daughter, this magical connection - but we didn't have that. (It was) the hardest time in my life... I fought incredibly hard for my daughter to accept me as her mother. Her rejection almost broke my heart."

Another complication - could you love a child that doesn't love back straight away?  One of the key questions raised in the novel We Need to Talk About Kevin, and the impact that it can potentially have on both mother and child...

Angelina and Mia Farrow (and Diane Keaton, Sharon Stone, Sheryl Crow, Hugh Jackman...) are certainly role models when it comes to proving how wonderful and fulfilling adopting a child can be.
Maybe it's different if you are rich, or don't have your own kids yet, or if it's the only way you can have them.  Or you feel sorry for them, have an over whelming sense of saving a child form a uncertain future.  Maybe other people are more honourable and maternal than me...

I guess, those that do choose to adopt, do so for all the right reasons. And as long as a child is being loved and cared for none of the other stuff matters.
British Vogue May issue

Image Patrick Demarchelier, W Magazine Dec 2010.  I LOVE this photo!

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