I'm struggling this morning. I feel like I'm moving slowly through a dark, narrow tunnel towards the light. So I need coffee and quiet. It's a beautiful day, so I need to wake up. Come on, chop chop!
I had one of those horrible, vivid dreams last night. I woke up with a start, heart pounding in my chest, a cold shiver. I dreamt a group of teenagers were trying to get into the house. They were running around outside and I was trying to find my phone to call the police. I felt panic and fear, and then one of the 'gang' a dark haired stocky bloke grabbed me. I tried to scream, scream for the kids to stay upstairs, scream for Mr S to phone the police, but as always in dreams, I could only manage a pathetic, croaky whisper. I was in the kitchen and I just reached out, grabbed a knife and stuck it into the blokes throat. The thing I remember most is the feeling of inserting the blade, just beside the jaw bone, and not pressing too deep. Repulsed at the ease of it and the release of dark blood. I just wanted the gang gone. I didn't want to really hurt him. I just held the knife in and tried to walk him to the door, to push him out. That's when I woke up. Ugh.