Thursday, 27 June 2013

children should be seen and not heard...

Why are other peoples kids so bloody annoying and unbearable?  Before you panic and think I'm talking about your kids - I'm not. I'm talking about strangers kids. 

Take the other day as an example. I'm at a theme park. My kids and their friends have run off to have fun, leaving me for an hour of quiet time (yes I found a nice sunny, quiet corner) to read and enjoy a coffee. When suddenly I hear a loud barking next to me. Bark, bark, bark, yap, yap, yap, bark ,bark, bark, growl, bark, and so it goes on in the same loud, monotone pitch...  WTF?! I look over to see a boy, aged anywhere between 8-12 standing about a foot from me, just barking to himself.  I glared at him, silently shouting, 'Go away annoying little shit, you're old enough to know better!', then his family and friends arrived and 'parked' at a nearby table for a 'rest' and he just carried on barking!  They totally ignored him. I don't understand?! Why don't people control their kids, think of others, act like normal people?! 

Another example. My two hours of hell on my recent flight from KL to Brisbane. We were about to take off. My sister and I have managed to bag ourselves two seats each (window and aisle). Excellent. When the pilot announces there is a problem with one of the doors, so could we please stay in our seats with our seat belts fastened. Great! Then, all the people from near the faulty door please move to fill empty seats up the back.  What? My empty seat. NO!  My sister got a nice looking man. Who did I get? Oh f**k.  Please don't sit next to me, please don't sit next to me!!!  They did.  An old crinkled granny (who couldn't speak any English) and her all wriggling, all kicking, all grabbing, hyper grandson, aged about two. AGGGHHHHH!  I am not joking when I say the next couple of hours were TORTURE.  F***********K!  I then had to endure being kicked constantly by two little hard hitting feet (clad in heavy boots), being jabbed in the ribs every 30 seconds by Granny, and being lent over to try and open and shut my window shade and poke at my personal seat back TV!!!  I tried smiling politely and gently moving the boys kicking legs from my thighs. In the end I gave up, turned totally purple (with rage), and flattened myself as close as possible to the plane 'wall' in an effort to minimise bruising, all the while boring holes of resentment into the back of my sisters head, as she peacefully read her damn book! I'm not joking when I say that it took every little bit of self control not to lose the plot. I was seeing the newspaper headlines, 'Stuck up cow hits small child as his old loving grandmother tried to protect him'... 

Eventually the Granny and the boy moved to two seats of their own.  My blood levels returned to normal and our flight finally took off.

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