equestrian spice

On one hand it's good to see our Vic dress down for a change. She's off to the local ranch for an American style hack with her boys. She actually looks genuinely casual, wearing old jeans, thongs (?!) and no bra (as you do when you go riding...).

But on the other hand what a wasted opportunity for an elegant VB equestrian style get up. Riding boots, spurs, tight jodhpurs and a snappy crop! Maybe even a side saddle, hairnet and top hat!?!

Still that would have hidden the nipple bullets, and they successfully distract the eye from the awful riding hat/helmet. Dear Vic looks as awful in helmets as I do. I bet she gets sticky, sweaty dust under her boobs...

tan line

I'm having a moment. Sorry, just a quick vent. You see, my tan line is fading away to nothing! Bring on spring!!! I need some colour. I'm starting to get tan envy. I hate, hate HATE being white. God, winter is such a chore, I want to be brown, I need to be brown! And don't suggest bloody fake shit. I need the vitamin D kind, the dangerous, burning kind, the kind that makes you look and feel sooo much better.

Victoria Secret panties - in case you are wondering.

peek a boo

I'm posting this pic just because I like it. Happy Monday chaps! It's a glorious day out there.

young Hollywood awards

It's the 2013 Young Hollywood Awards in the US. Never heard of this one before, but there's always room for more self congratulation...

 

No stand outs on the red carpet. Very underwhelmed. 

 

Lauren, AnnaSophia, Selena. Ladies you all look fine. Not great, just nice, passable, fine. 



Lauren, AnnaSophia and Selena, looking nice and presentable.



 

 

 

Really disappointed with Kelly Osbourne. I should love her yellow 50s style dress, but I hate it! It's the big flappy shoulder lapels. Ruins the dress. And the purple rinse hair is getting a tad tiresome and just doesn't work with the gunmetal platforms. Nah, sorry Kel.

 

Aylssa, that jumpsuit? It looks cheap and the cut outs? Ugh. 

Cat Deeley. Oh dear! Isn't Brad G your stylist? Did he have a night off? This tribal Aztec look is just too much! Straps and lines all over the show, you're making me dizzy!

 



 

Kelly, Alyssa and Cat.  Sorry ladies, your outfits are not doing it for me at all...



shoe hate

Ugh. I hate these shoes! Ugly as sin. It looks like Aisha's wearing paper bags on her feet tied up with an elastic bloody band! It has to be said, I can't abide peeptoe boots, ever, on anyone.

Terrible shoe crime!

a fling on the same side?

One of my old school friends and I made a pact over dinner one night (when we were in our 20s) that if we weren't married by the time we hit 40 we'd fly to New York, stay in a gorgeous hotel, sip cocktails, go to cool clubs and be seduced by a woman, have a full on sexual lesbo adventure. At the time, I pictured a classy, elegant but dirty blond, (I was imagining a kind of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct - well - it was the 90s!). Someone slightly older who could take charge and show me the ropes... Now as I approach the dreaded middle age milestone, I'm not so sure who I would chose (if I was actually single and up for it that is) and I had my pick of famous people...

So it got me thinking. Kate, Christy, Helena, Elle, nah not a supermodel. Juliette Moore, my beloved Angie-Ms-Perfect, Cate Blanchett, hmmmm. It's a toughie. Then it hit me. Tilda!  Yes, Tilda bloody Swinton. A total surprise I know! A bit too dykie I hear you cry, but you know, but I think she'd be perfect. Pop her in a silk slip and a pair of heels and yes, I could go Tilda. She's kind of dominant and sexy in a strange intriguing way (she'd have to do all the work, obviously). Umm. Yes. Food for thought.



Is there someone down there Tilda?



baby bump!

Poor Jen. She looks pretty gorgeous in the dusky purple dress. But I bet all the gossips will shout "baby bump!"... That's the bugger with heavy satin fabrics. They do show off your tum, even when you don't really have one. It's just the pose she's in, she needs to straighten up and suck it in a bit. Oh dear. The price of being a celebrity. The constant slagging off and criticism. Shame.

Anyway, Jen, hon. I think you look lovely. And your heels are cool too, very nice. You'll never be Ange, (I know, I know, we must get over the comparisons...) but you look lovely.

She's at the New York premiere of We're the Millers (you know the film where she dances in her scants, she plays a stripper, the main reason most people will go to watch it).

Someone who hasn't quite hit the mark is Emma Roberts. Her stylist must have lost her skirt and decided to go for the 'fashion student' look by wrapping a silky bed sheet round her. Boring! The whole outfit is boring. Next time love, add a bright chunky necklace and shoes that you can actually see, black stilettos (which I normally love) are way too dull for this outfit! And slap on some fake tan while you're at it, your legs look blue!

Jen and her bump

 

Emma Roberts in her bed sheet