tits t shirt

I soooo want one of these!

Vivienne Westwood's Tits T-Shirt! Originally designed in 1975 for Vivienne and Malcolm's SEX shop, it's been reprinted for the Special Edition Collection, available at the World's End, London store, or online (for $125). 

Cool! I wonder who's boobs they are, they look a little implanty to me... no matter!

Beauty and the... bland?

She really is gorgeous isn't she. Cate Blanchett. Rarely puts a fashion foot wrong, never makes a silly faux pas, always chooses meaty acting roles that challenge her endless abilities. 

Umm... I wonder what she looks like naked? How her boobs have held up (or not) after three kids... Did she have c-sections or does she have to work on her pelvic floor? Does she enjoy anal sex? Or prefer creamy plain vanilla?

But my biggest question (and yes, I know I am being shallow and mean, but, don't lie and tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind!) is this - what the fuck does she see in husband Andrew Upton?!!!

I know looks don't count (actually that's bollocks, of course they do), and he may have been trim when they met, and yes, he's creative and a playwright and has intellectual talents, but, but, BUT!!!

Do they have an open marriage perhaps? Can they both take pleasure elsewhere as long as the heart stays loyal? Ummm. I wonder.

I mean, there are sooo many talented, sexy, handsome men out there... Just look at the hot actors Cate mingles with! The directors, scriptwriters... She must get tempted, she must!

Or maybe her aloof, cool ice queen demeanour scares them all away.

It's fascinating...isn't it?!

She's a better woman than me (in oh so many ways!) I would have dumped him after my first Oscar nomination and had a string of decedent, passionate, intense flings then settled down with someone who was my aesthetic equal... 

SAGs the worst

Not doing it for me. Not doing it for me at all. 

Clare Danes looks like she's in a school play. Mariah looks like a 90s prostitute. Ms Matthew McConaughey looks like she's draped herself in a cheap shiny mustard bedsheet (and I just can't stand Camillia's bloody eyebrows)! Kerry Washington looks ridiculous, like an overstuffed doll (yes, yes, I know she's up the duff and normally looks flawless). Sandy Bullock is wrapped in a Quality Street mint-chic wrapper (with boring shoes), and finally Cate perfect Blanchett looks like she's wearing the downstairs loo towel holder.

Very disappointed.

SAGs the best

Here's my favs...

Sorry, I haven't got time to write. Busy, busy, busy me. You know who all these lovely ladies are, you don't need captions.  So in no particular order...these ladies look lovely.

fancy a bendersnatch?

Ooooo yes please! As you may be aware I have a bit of a thing for Micheal Fassbender, and yes I admit it, for Benedict Cumbersnatch too! I would happily accommodate both of these charming young men for a playful hour or two (actually it would probably only need to be 20 minutes)! 

Both such intense, talented actors, and having seen MB's goods already (courtesy of the film Shame) I just know it would be a total thrill! Just look at them here (okay I'm not keen on the beard Michael, too ginger, rough and scratchy...) grooving together at the Globes After Party! Naughty, naughty boys. I wish I'd been there, between them both, merry from Moët and up for a quickie in an alley somewhere... What?! A girl can dream right!

the not so golden globes...

Here's the 'oh dear' list... Not good looks pretty ladies.  Not good looks at all...

Doesn't Heidi Klum seem to just pop up 

everywhere these days? Was she even invited? 

She looks a tad cowgirl/home applique/

skank in this Marchesa ensemble. Too much.

This is what happens when you cross artificial
flowers from a retro swim cap with a 90s sleeveless
jacket made out of an old shower curtain! Sorry
Ms Bejo, it's a "No" from me.

Zoe, Zoe, Zoe. Very disapointed!  Positives first.  

Love the shoes! Louboutin Pigalles. Smart choice.  

The dress however? YUK!  What the hell is it?! Awful.

Prabal Gurung, you were obviously pissed when you 

designed this one! Playgroup sticky craft table gone 

horribly wrong...

Julia hon, I knew you'd wear something safe, 

but why oh why did you wreck the classic D&G 

strapless dress with an old fucking business shirt?!

It just makes me angry ANGRY!

Front view of Emma Watson's boring back to front dress...

Back view of this bizarre combo. Leggings?!

Easy access for a quick shag at the after party

perhaps, that might work...

Paula Patton thought her bedsheets would make a 

good over the shoulder throw/snuggie... handy if she gets 

bored or too drunk and nods off.

Dior was obviously having an off day when he designed this dull number. 

What's with the hip band? They way it bags out in a puff around the arse.

Ugh. Ugly, boring, way too meringue like. 

And Jen PLEASE grow back our hair!

golden globes

I've been off blogging for a bit. Christmas and New Year and my Dad finally passing away into his endless sleep all got in the way and to be honest I just didn't feel like it or have much to say...

But it's the Golden Globes!

Of course I'm watching! I love the glitz and glamour. All the lovely dresses and stars. How can I resist selecting my favourite red carpet looks?! So far I must say I haven't seen any shockers (actually Jen Law looks the a meringue - very disappointing!). 

Here are my top looks (in no particular order)...

Sofia does old time big busted glamour beautifully in this over-the-top-but-I-love-it, 

Zac Posen gown. And that necklace? It looks fabulous nestled above those

quivering, don't you want to rest your face in them, boobs!

Emma Roberts gets 10/10.  I LOVE IT ALL! Perfect.

Kate Beckinsale never puts a foot wrong. Love this hot metallic strapless 

Zuhair Murad dress.



Classy ice queen Cate looks simply perfect in Armani Prive.

Amy Adams, my girl crush, I love you Miss Hottie, in Valentino



Lovely Leslie Mann all coy and ready to be unwrapped!

Lupia Nyong'o simple and stunning in red Ralph Lauren.



Sandra Bullock looking flawless in Prabal Gurung. Didn't like it at first but now I do, 
it moves beautifully and sets her cleavage off a treat (even if it is a bit 
Liquorice Allsort inspired...)