I'm back!

Hello! Did you miss me? Only joking! Well. What can I say? The wedding trip to Queenstown is over and life returns to normal... We had a wonderful time, fun and family and enjoying nature, and the wedding? It was PERFECT! Totally, utterly, beautifully, perfect. As far as traditional white weddings go, it was just gorgeous, flawless.  The bride, the flowers, the bridesmaids, the venue, the guests, the food, the drinks, the music, the fun vintage photo booth... all of it!

(I still prefer my underwater one though...!)

Getting ready for the Wedding of the year!

brother love

I haven't had much to say for the past few weeks. I'm a little distracted. One of my older brothers has terminal cancer, discovered only a couple of months ago, when a cough hung around for a bit too long. It's been a shock to our family and something that we have not had to deal with before. We are obviously all trying to remain positive and hope for a miracle, but it's up and down...

This post isn't to attract sympathy. I just need to off load. I am consumed by so many mixed emotions and memories and feelings, it feels better to write it down. More than anything else I feel like we are all in limbo, with a sad little cloud hanging over everything we do.

This is when families need to be together, to support each other and just be together. But life keeps going and the mundane routine of work and school continues. So it's hard to just drop everything and go to him. And just popping in to see him for an hour or two every other day is unfortunately impossible, as it's a 22 hour plane journey. That makes it hard, as I want to see him, I want to give him a cuddle and feel his skin on mine, to look into his eyes and say all the things that I can't put into words.

Part of the process of emigrating to another country, leaving my family behind, has been to switch off emotionally. A wall goes up, so that you don't miss the people you have left behind. Self preservation I guess. The need to get on with your life. It's all for the greater good. But at times like this, it's not so easy, letting that guard down.

I always knew this would be the hard bit. Living so far away, literally the other side of the world, when someone you love is ill. And, as we all get older it's inevitable that people are going to get sick and die, and that this will happen again and again.

But the strangest thing of all is that I still can't really believe it is happening. I am still in shock. I keep shaking my head and wondering why and how this has happened. Why now, to my brother? I never thought it would happen to him. It makes my head spin to even think about how he feels and what he's going through. The physical and emotional pain, the not knowing. That life might end too soon. It's awful and scary and sad.

It should put things into perspective shouldn't it? A reminder of what's important in life, to live life to the full and not put things off. But instead I find myself just feeling vacant and asking myself what it's all about. Life. Death. How insignificant we are. That one minute you are alive and breathing and the next gone, and that's it. Story over. A whole life of wants and dreams and feelings and experience, gone.

My mum is with my brother. I cannot even begin to understand how this must be for her.

I know that millions of people are going through this all over the world, on a daily basis, and my heart goes out to them all.


To my brother. I love you. You are my big brother. You always will be. You are part of me. Part of my life, my memories. I want to you to get better and keep the shaved head, because it suits you, makes your eyes stand out. I want you to do all the silly things that annoyed me so much as a little girl. I want to walk along the beach with you, in the sun, and to nag you about not wearing sunscreen and a hat. I want to watch you eating the  meat pies you love so much, making my kids laugh when you say they are made of poo.  I just want you here, always. To know you are around, somewhere just going about your business. I don't want to you to go. Please get better. Love, your little sister x




image source: eddiessolitude.blogspot.com

Choose a partner for love (but preferably with a fat bank balance)...

Let me ask you this. Will you encourage your children to choose a partner for love alone? 

No, really. Think about it. 

Think about the difference it can make. A life of struggling versus a life of not having to worry too much. Having to think about money, or not.

What do you want for your children, or nieces and nephews? Happiness and health! Yes, yes, we all want that. A great, rewarding career, yes, that too. Travel, a life rich in experience and opportunity... Yep, but what else? Or is that enough? Is your motto 'life is what you make it'? There will always be people with more and people with less...

Okay, everyone has worries. People with money have a different set of complications and concerns, but it's not the same is it? It's not the same as worrying about bills and mortgage payments.  And what effect does this have on a relationship?

Do you sometimes wish you'd married/partnered-up 'better' financially, or does money not into it, either because you already have plenty (so not really need to think about it), you simply aren't motivated by money at all, or just live by the old cliché 'money doesn't buy you happiness'?

It's a tough one. Are my more well-off friends happier than those not-so-well-off? Some are, some aren't. Some people seem to know how to quietly enjoy their money. Others seem to battle with it. Other are flashy and seem to enjoy showing off. Then there it those who are just too damn tight to spend it, (which I find totally bizarre)...  Everyone works hard, puts in the hours. Some just get paid better than others, see opportunities, take risks that pay off, or just get lucky (or inherit), or have something to prove...

Believe it or not.  I'm not motivated by money (much).  If I had loads of it I wouldn't live a life of indulgence, I would live the world travelling the world, experiencing as much as I can and volunteering my time to causes I believe in. But, yes, I would do it in style and I certainly would have one of those air conditioned shoe closets (with Louboutins in every style)!

But I digress... if I'm totally honest, I would absolutely prefer my kids to have an easy life. I don't mean a lazy life. I mean a life free from financial worries, a life that allows them to follow their dreams and not be put off because they can't afford it. I don't want them to have to deny themselves things, or watch others enjoying a lifestyle that they can't afford.

Of course I'll be proud if they are successful themselves, but I certainly wouldn't have a problem with them choosing a partner who had money.  Money can't buy love or happiness.  And being happy with someone is something to be treasured.  

Ultimately I guess it's all about balance again isn't it...  

Tamara and Petra Eccelstone
with F1 billionaire dad Bernie

each to their own...

So Johnny and Vanessa have split.  It's a shame.  I had hoped that they would last. They seemed genuine. They appeared to have escaped the fake Hollywood bullshit. It's sad.  But, if you've been happy with someone for years, is it a failure because it ends?  Maybe it just ran it's course. People change...

People never cease to amaze me. We're all an interesting bunch. Our loves, passions, dislikes, quirks and indifferences. As I've said before, it would be such a boring world if we were all the same. I find couple relationships particularly interesting, as they are all so vastly different. The respect and friendship, the outward displays of affection or dislike. The need to be with other people, or preference to be just together. The denying ones self or joint compromise, the balance of power...

Me? I need my relationship with my husband to be the priority. I'm not needy or insecure, I just require daily interaction, companionship and attention to be happy. I need my partner to be my best friend, the person I can tell anything too, who is just there. He is my first choice to be with, the person I would prefer to spend time with. It's not claustrophobic, or high maintenance, or touchy feely, it's just right, for us. We communicate, there is balance. I want our relationship to work, I'm looking forward to when it's just us again.

I personally don't understand how relationships work when the focus on just on kids, or work, or friends. People who always have to be around others, all the time, or seem to prefer the company of their friends. Or those who try to please everyone and never end up doing that, because ultimately they please no one.

No relationship is perfect, but some are clearly happier than others, but as long as it works, who cares? Each to their own. My recommendation? Honesty, communication, respect, time together and the simple act of appreciation.

What are your thoughts?  What works for you?

All over for Mr & Mrs Depp...

book review 50 Shades of Grey

Is there anything better, on a grey, miserable, rainy afternoon, than settling down with a good book and a cup of coffee (well apart from a bit of umm...)? Well, that's what I did today and what can I say...

NOOOO! I finished 50 Shades of Grey and I need more, I can't just stop now! I devoured this book and have to admit I loved it, I got totally hooked. I need book two (Fifty Shades Darker)!!!

Yes, it's cliched and predictable and at times eye-rollingly corny (yes, I can do it too Christian!), making me laugh with lines like, "I gasp, and I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he's the serpent, and I cannot resist". But it's the perfect, fun, easy, un-challenging read. It's not out to make a point, or make you question anything, it just takes you along on an enjoyable ride.

But, it's hardly the 'mummy porn' I was expecting. Yes, there is sex, but it's not graphic porn, just two passionate lovers embarking on the start of an affair. There is far more actual 'story' than your normal run-of-the-mill erotic novel.

There is nothing particularly original about this book either, I have read numerous versions of this story (gorgeous, obscenely rich, but wounded, troubled man/Arab Sheik, meets young, innocent 'why me' girl next door, who tries to uncover his secrets and find happy ever after), but I really liked the main character, Ana (although her constant 'inner godess' references got on my tits a bit). She's normal and not a weak, silly sap. Christian is a tad annoying and he did give me the creeps with the stalker thing, but who cares - as I said this book it just to be enjoyed, not analysed.

So should you read it? Absolutely! I can't wait to get started on book two, I'll be going out to buy it tomorrow! Tip - this book is better read in book format - not on an iPad/e-reader.

Finished! 

w magazine does it again

I just love W Magazine (as you may have gathered by now!). I just love the retro glamour and stylish photography and gorgeous clothes (and shoes). 

The May issue features the beautiful Nicole Kidman & daper Clive Owen, shot by Emma Summerton, promoting their new HBO telemovie Hemingway & Gellhorn.


I'm so happy that Nic is happy and content now, after all the crap with Tom (gag), with the genuinely loveable Keith and their two little girls.

Nicole mentions Keith in the interview, "My husband says I'm raw. He thinks the world is not a great place for me because he fears that I'll be hurt. He says, That's my job: I'll protect you". Ahhh, so sweet...

And I loved how Keith explained his priorities in the April issue of The Australian Women's Weekly, "It's my wife and then my daughters. I just think it's really important for the kids." adding, "There are too many parents who start to lose the plot a little and start to give all their love to the kids, and then the partner starts to go without. And then everybody loses. As a kid, all I needed to know was that my parents were solid. Kids shouldn't feel like they are being favoured. It's a dangerous place." Well said Keith, I admire your honesty and think you are absolutely spot on.


W Magazine's May 2012 issue



ahh Nicole, I love you as a blond



Looking hot in that suit Clive

back off sun haters!

I don't care what anyone says - everyone looks better with a tan, it must be really shit to have skin that just goes blotchy and red, highlighting veins and pimples... 


Nothing beats lying in the sun. That feeling of hot rays caressing your body.  For me it's a form of meditation.  Lying still, in just a bikini, the smell of coconut sun screen, a gentle breeze wafting over your skin, just simple, quiet relaxation.  Ahhhh....

What gets under my skin is people asking me why I don't 'just get a spray tan' and then launch into a skin cancer health warning... yes they may 'mean well', but listen - I've heard it all before, and yes I know the risks, but I don't care, thanks but I'll risk it. Getting sprayed in a cubicle is just not the same.

I actually find it frustrating when I have to hunt down factor 15 sunscreen and always feel disappointed when I have to apply SPF30. 

I usually launch into a well used excuse about being English and having to worship the sun as it doesn't appear (over there) very often.  And it's true.  I was brought up to love the sun.  In fact as a teenager, my mum would often wake me up to tell me the sun was out and to get outside (to sun bathe).

And yes, I have to admit I still get anxious if I don't get my dose of Vitamin D on a regular basis.  I get twitchy. At the end of winter, when it heats up and the real tanning weather starts, I wake up excited to see the sun, even though, now living in Australia, I wake up to the sun most mornings. 

So here's to healthy, bronzed skin, I love it, and I'll stick to getting it natures way!

Note: when it comes to the kids - yes I am a good mother and of course feel very protective of their skin, so in case you are shaking your head and tutting at what a bad influence I am, yes I always make sure they are sun smart.

Image: Life Magazine archives